Long-term partnerships are rarely what we expected. We wanted ease in relationship -- little conflict, few differences, continuous emotional support, and unending sexual desire. We thought it was our job to meet our partner's needs and their task to meet ours. Life together was supposed to feel safe and be effortless. So when partnership gave us differences, conflict, and less sex than we wanted, we believed that something was seriously wrong. When we didn't and couldn't make each other happy, when we didn't get the emotional support we thought we needed, when relationship felt anything but safe and easy -- we mistakenly decided that our partner had changed too much, that we loved but were no longer in love, that we must have simply chosen the wrong person.
As a couple counseling couples, we can offer not only male and female perspectives to each struggle brought to us, but an understanding of the intensity of emotions in partnerships and the desire to hang on to the myth of the promise of ease and effortless relationship. As well, we have a great appreciation of the difficulty and fear involved in change. We can help you move from a relationship in which you feel miles away from your partner to one that includes deep emotional connection, greater acceptance of self, and greater skill in ceasing your efforts to mold your partner into who you want them to be rather than who they are.
After two or three weekly sessions, we will be better able to share what we see as the obstacles you face on the road to greater intimacy and what your journey will look like. And we can discuss about how long we think it will take you to get there.
Sometimes relationship concerns feel more urgent than can be addressed in weekly counseling sessions. We offer week-long counseling sessions lasting two to four hours daily. If your problems are critical or if you are traveling from out of town, an intimacy intensive week may be an appropriate choice. Intimacy intensives are also well-suited for therapists from other communities.